Thinking About Things I Shouldn't Be Thinking About

Call me Brittney Spears because oops I did it again. I'm thinking about life and the future, and absolutely freaking the hell out about it.

Last night I went to this PR mixer our PRSSA held at a local restaurant. It was like speed-internshipping; we went around to different tables and talked to PR representatives from different companies around Columbus about how they got their jobs, what kinds of internships they had in college, what they look for in an intern, etc. Basic stuff. They also asked us about ourselves and what we're thinking about pursuing. I was really enjoying myself, really telling these people about myself and where my passions lie, because I honestly have no idea what I want to do with my PR major. And I'm okay with that. But one woman said something to me last night that got to me more than I'd like to admit.

I was telling her about my love for music, books, movies, and the theater. My biggest problem is trying to mesh some of my hobbies together with my future job, and I understand that it may not work out that way. I really do. I'm not naive; I know my perfect job does not exist, or it may take a little longer for me to find out what I want to do. But I was telling her the hopes and dreams that are closest to my heart, the dreams I don't tell anyone else because I am afraid of what they will say, because I felt comfortable in this environment. The other professionals all told me that they had maybe never heard of a job like I was describing, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. They had all encouraged me to keep my mind open and to not give up my search for a job that will satisfy and stimulate my needs.

So I described myself to this woman and told her my problems, my deepest fears. She looked me in the eye and told me that I would never be able to find a job like the one I was describing, so I may as well give up now and forgot about finding a job that I enjoy.

I was a little stunned. I didn't know what to say. I understand that from her perspective, she thought she was being honest and saving me heartbreak and wasted time later on. She thought she was doing me a favor, telling me what I can and cannot do before I had a chance to figure it out for myself. While I appreciate her honesty, I also feel sorry for her. She doesn't know of every PR-like job in the world; the field is so broad there's probably thousands she's never even heard of. The fact that she has such a myopic view of the field, that she can't imagine different jobs besides the ones she has experienced personally, tells me that she's not the person I need to be listening to.

And yet, last night, laying in my bed, I couldn't get her words out of my mind. No matter how I tried, that horrible feeling that she could be right continued to haunt me. What if I never found the right job for me? What if I never amount to anything? What if I just fail at life and never accomplish anything?

Well I have a message for you way-too-heaavily-makeuped-lady. I will find an awesome job someday. It may not be the exact one I'm imagining now; it might even be something completely different, something I haven't even thought about yet. That's the great thing about PR. I probably will end up doing so many different jobs in my lifetime that there will never be a dull moment, and (hopefully) no instances where I feel stuck in a rut. There's so much more to the world, and I feel sorry that makeup lady doesn't see that. I see the world for all it's opportunities and possibilities, and my goal is to never lose my curiosity for discovering new things and places and adventures the world has to offer.

I feel that I am in the right place. I may not know exactly where I fit in to this world is yet, but they say half of life's the journey right? I am not lost, just on a rather foggy part of the path that becomes clearer with every passing day.