So I've totally been meaning to write something about summer and the first week of sophomore year, but things have been so crazy that this is the first time I actually had the time to sit down and write about it.
Well, I suppose I could've written something earlier this week when I was watching A Very Potter Musical on Youtube.......
Don't judge me. It was beautiful and I couldn't stop watching it and then just when I thought Harry Potter could never hurt me again it did. Freakin' Voldemort.
ANYWAY as I'm sure you noticed from my last blog post, the beginning of this summer kicked ass. And, to my immense delight, it only got better. In July I participated in my first best-friend road trip to the Bunbury Music Festival in Cincinnati. Not only did I have great fun spending time with my friends and seeing some amazing bands (cough cough twentyonepilots), I had so much fun volunteering. I met some awesome people, including this guy named Jake who likes Whose Line as much as I do and can quote it even better than I can. Who knew? But most importantly this experience was so real, so novel to me that it really took me by surprise how much fun I had. I obviously knew I would, but Bunbury was completely different than what I'd expected, it surprised me in ways I didn't know it could. I become good friends with people I'd known for only a few hours, and I even still talk to some of them. It's most definitely something that I will remember and cherish for a long time.
August wasn't anything special compared to June or July, but it wasn't bad or anything. I did have to get my wisdom teeth out, which was not fun, but I survived. I hung out with my high school friends before we all left, and as much as I love my friends here at school I miss them a lot. Thank God for Facebook and Skype.
School again! Sophomore year! The transition this time was much easier, I'm sure considering since I've done it once before. I love my classes this semester, I'm meeting even more new awesome people, I have a job, and I'm staying busy so I don't get depressed like I did last semester. It was going super well until today.
I have cabin fever again. The exact same thing happened last year at about this time, maybe a bit later. That feeling that I wanna do something, get out and go somewhere, be anywhere than where I am right now. And I don't believe for one second it's because I'm unhappy where I am; I'm not. I love it here, and I truly cannot imagine being anywhere else. I think it's just the prospect of college, the idea that I'm on my own and that I have the potential to do anything and go anywhere that ignites my sense of adventure. I know I should be focusing on my education and having fun in the now, but my mind continues to wander into the future. What job will I have? Where will I live? Who will I love? Will I even find love? Will I have kids? Will they be safe? What will the world be like?
Sadly, the list goes on. It's not even worry that causes these questions to constantly plague my mind. It's curiosity. Maybe it's my deep, humanistic desire to abolish the unknown. I don't know. But it's really annoying sometimes. And yet, I have a feeling that this cabin fever will occur every year until I graduate. Oh well, I suppose. I wish I could stop it, but nothing works.
This post has passed the point of being waaaay too long. So here's a song from AVPM that I'm absolutely in love with, featuring the beautiful Joe Walker.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1VfpFM1Gr8&list=SPC76BE906C9D83A3A&index=13
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Monday, June 24, 2013
And Who Says Nothing Cool Happens in Ohio.
So in the past week, I've seen three celebrities and met two of them.
What?
This is coming form the girl who always complains about a lack of adventure, that nothing cool ever happens in my sleepy hometown. Which I guess is still true, since I didn't actually see these three guys in my hometown exactly. It was all in Ohio, however, which is still pretty impressive, considering nothing ever happens in Ohio either.
Both sightings were honestly a combination of pure luck and expert creeping skills. Emphasis on the creeping skills.
The first sighting was last Monday, when my friend and I were loitering around the set of Captain America. They're filming in Cleveland, not far from where I live, so I've been down to the various filming locations in the past few weeks. But this time we got really lucky; one of the crew members we were chatting with informed us that Chris Evans himself was in the building. Hoping to get a glimpse of him, we waited around for 45 minutes or so across the street. We weren't disappointed.
He came out of the building with his girlfriend Minka Kelly, the chick who plays Autumn in 500 Days of Summer. They got into a car, heading off to a different location. To the surprise of the 15 or so people that had been waiting with us across the street, the car stopped alongside our side of the street and Chris opened the door to give a few autographs.
Unfortunately he only had time for a few, and we were unable to get close enough to get one. I did get an awesome picture of him with my friend's phone, and we were literally about 5 feet away from him. I heard his voice and everything. Needless to say, my friend and I were freaking out.
Thus ended sighting #1. #2 was just as exciting, maybe even more so because I actually met these next two guys.
Remember my past blog post about Whose Line is it Anyway? and seeing the Colin and Brad show later this year? Well the day finally came. On Saturday, we headed over to Lakeside Chautauqua to see their Two-Man Show, a show I'd been excited about since January.
I've never laughed so hard in my life. Their show was about two hours long, and I seriously laughed the entire time. I know people always use that phrase flippantly, but at the end of the show I realized I'd been smiling the entire time due to the fact that my cheeks felt like they'd been stretched out like Silly Putty.
They played great games, including attempts at Spanish accents (which eventually turned into Russian) during Moving Bodies; hamsters that eat their own poo during an audience-aided Fill-In; a fart-filled Sound Effects; a Sherlock Holmes inspired Kick It in which Colin made Brad rap for almost 2 minutes straight; and the dangerous but hilarious Mousetrap Game in which Brad had stolen Colin's world famous granola recipe. That night was the hardest I've laughed in...well, longer than I can remember. And it was so nice to just let loose for a while. The rest of the audience was laughing as hard as we were, so I obviously wasn't the only one who found them absolutely fucking hilarious.
Anyway, after the show we asked if they were going to come out for autographs. We were informed they were not, since they had a early plane to catch in Cleveland. Undeterred, my friend Rachel and I creepily waited outside the backstage area, watching the door we figured they'd come out of eventually. About a half an hour later, we were about to give up, when a long white limo pulled up beside us. Rachel and I started freaking out, and not 10 seconds later out they came.
We all introduced ourselves and asked if we could have a picture with them. They were both super sweet and actually a lot taller than I thought they'd be. Brad PUT HIS ARM AROUND ME and now I have photo evidence of this night which makes me happier than Tiny Tim at Christmastime. We chatted with them for a bit, but the conversation that took the cake was when my mom decided it would be a good idea to inform Colin that I watched Whose Line online all the time (she thankfully didn't mention the fact that I've obsessively seen every episode). He looked kind of surprised and quipped, "Give her a book!"
I almost peed myself because I almost always have my nose in a book; it's rare to find a time when I'm not reading at least one book. Obviously he didn't know this so he didn't find it as funny as I did, but it was one of my favorite moments of that night. Laughing, I managed to reassure him that I do read and not all my time is spent on Youtube.
We said goodbye and that they were fantastic one more time, and then we parted ways. As they drove away in their fancy limo I reflected on the fact that I had met not one but two celebrities in the same week, and I had seen not two but three also in the same week, and I thought that maybe living in Ohio isn't so bad after all. For now, at least :)
What?
This is coming form the girl who always complains about a lack of adventure, that nothing cool ever happens in my sleepy hometown. Which I guess is still true, since I didn't actually see these three guys in my hometown exactly. It was all in Ohio, however, which is still pretty impressive, considering nothing ever happens in Ohio either.
Both sightings were honestly a combination of pure luck and expert creeping skills. Emphasis on the creeping skills.
The first sighting was last Monday, when my friend and I were loitering around the set of Captain America. They're filming in Cleveland, not far from where I live, so I've been down to the various filming locations in the past few weeks. But this time we got really lucky; one of the crew members we were chatting with informed us that Chris Evans himself was in the building. Hoping to get a glimpse of him, we waited around for 45 minutes or so across the street. We weren't disappointed.
He came out of the building with his girlfriend Minka Kelly, the chick who plays Autumn in 500 Days of Summer. They got into a car, heading off to a different location. To the surprise of the 15 or so people that had been waiting with us across the street, the car stopped alongside our side of the street and Chris opened the door to give a few autographs.
Unfortunately he only had time for a few, and we were unable to get close enough to get one. I did get an awesome picture of him with my friend's phone, and we were literally about 5 feet away from him. I heard his voice and everything. Needless to say, my friend and I were freaking out.
Thus ended sighting #1. #2 was just as exciting, maybe even more so because I actually met these next two guys.
Remember my past blog post about Whose Line is it Anyway? and seeing the Colin and Brad show later this year? Well the day finally came. On Saturday, we headed over to Lakeside Chautauqua to see their Two-Man Show, a show I'd been excited about since January.
I've never laughed so hard in my life. Their show was about two hours long, and I seriously laughed the entire time. I know people always use that phrase flippantly, but at the end of the show I realized I'd been smiling the entire time due to the fact that my cheeks felt like they'd been stretched out like Silly Putty.
They played great games, including attempts at Spanish accents (which eventually turned into Russian) during Moving Bodies; hamsters that eat their own poo during an audience-aided Fill-In; a fart-filled Sound Effects; a Sherlock Holmes inspired Kick It in which Colin made Brad rap for almost 2 minutes straight; and the dangerous but hilarious Mousetrap Game in which Brad had stolen Colin's world famous granola recipe. That night was the hardest I've laughed in...well, longer than I can remember. And it was so nice to just let loose for a while. The rest of the audience was laughing as hard as we were, so I obviously wasn't the only one who found them absolutely fucking hilarious.
Anyway, after the show we asked if they were going to come out for autographs. We were informed they were not, since they had a early plane to catch in Cleveland. Undeterred, my friend Rachel and I creepily waited outside the backstage area, watching the door we figured they'd come out of eventually. About a half an hour later, we were about to give up, when a long white limo pulled up beside us. Rachel and I started freaking out, and not 10 seconds later out they came.
We all introduced ourselves and asked if we could have a picture with them. They were both super sweet and actually a lot taller than I thought they'd be. Brad PUT HIS ARM AROUND ME and now I have photo evidence of this night which makes me happier than Tiny Tim at Christmastime. We chatted with them for a bit, but the conversation that took the cake was when my mom decided it would be a good idea to inform Colin that I watched Whose Line online all the time (she thankfully didn't mention the fact that I've obsessively seen every episode). He looked kind of surprised and quipped, "Give her a book!"
I almost peed myself because I almost always have my nose in a book; it's rare to find a time when I'm not reading at least one book. Obviously he didn't know this so he didn't find it as funny as I did, but it was one of my favorite moments of that night. Laughing, I managed to reassure him that I do read and not all my time is spent on Youtube.
We said goodbye and that they were fantastic one more time, and then we parted ways. As they drove away in their fancy limo I reflected on the fact that I had met not one but two celebrities in the same week, and I had seen not two but three also in the same week, and I thought that maybe living in Ohio isn't so bad after all. For now, at least :)
Friday, May 17, 2013
The Beginning in the End
Freshman year. Done. I can't believe it. I've only been home for a few days and it still feels like this is just another break, that I'll be going back on Monday for classes next week. It still hasn't hit me that it's summer.
As excited as I am for summer and friends and cookouts and bonfires and real food and nice showers and privacy and movies and Cedar Point and adventure, there are a lot of things I'll miss about this year. I made some amazing friends at school, people who are at once similar to me but different at the same time. I met fellow Whovians, people who shared my sense of humor (and people who didn't but liked me anyway), people who loved deeply and others who hid their feelings, people who lived in farmhouses in the middle of nowhere and people who called a big city their home, single people, students my age who were already married and had kids, actors, scientists, drunkards and geeks, kids who still play Magic and watch Netflix all day. And you know what? I'm friends with all of them. And you wanna know another thing? That's okay. I can be friends with all of them.
I know everyone laughs at the cliched versions of high school portrayed in movies like High School Musical and Mean Girls, but to be honest, they're really accurate in one respect. If you tried to be different, step out of your skin and the label the rest of your classmates placed on you, you were an outcast. Not necessarily a social outcast, because I sure wasn't. I had lots of friends. And I loved most of them. Still do. But no one associated me with one group of people. Even the group of people everyone else associated me with didn't always include me. I wasn't invited to all of the parties, all the dinners, the gatherings they had. I was standing on the edge of a huge Venn diagram, where I could touch all the edges of the circles but never step inside them.
So I guess at the beginning of this year I was a bit lost. I knew college was a time to reinvent yourself, but who did I want to become? The theater kid? The writer? The friend? The adventurer? The smarty pants? The goody-two-shoes? The bad girl? I had so many options, yet none appealed to me in the way I'd hoped.
But then I began to meet people. People from various walks of life. And as the people become more and more diverse, I began to realize that I was looking for the exact same thing I had tried to escape in high school: a label. I was looking to others to define me when I should've been discovering my own definition. My friends allowed me to be my weird and crazy self, and they accepted me for it. As a result, it is much easier for me to be my weird and crazy self around people I don't know, which is probably why I still don't have a boyfriend. But I trust that I will find someone someday. If Liz Lemon can find her perfect man, then so can I.
Sorry I keep going back to all this "labels" shit. I bet you're thinking to yourself, "Jesus, Heidi! Build a bridge and get over this already. You've made like 4 blog posts about it. Haven't you figured yourself out yet?"
Believe me, I ask myself this question all the time. And the answer is a definitive one. No, I have not figured myself out. Not even close. One of the greatest ironies in this world is that the person we think we know best is actually the hardest to figure out. We should know ourselves better than anyone else; after all, I'm constantly in my own head. But no matter how hard I try, I cannot always determine why I do the things I do. It's eye-opening to understand how little you actually know about yourself, or that your perception of yourself mostly comes from how other people see you.
This is why you should take psychology classes ladies and gents.
All in all this year was fantastic. There were many ups and downs, probably more downs than I would've liked, but that's life. And with every passing day, I realize how much mine seems to resemble a late-night sitcom.
Not Two and Half Men, however. More like the Big Bang Theory. But with dorky girls and way more Doctor Who references.
As excited as I am for summer and friends and cookouts and bonfires and real food and nice showers and privacy and movies and Cedar Point and adventure, there are a lot of things I'll miss about this year. I made some amazing friends at school, people who are at once similar to me but different at the same time. I met fellow Whovians, people who shared my sense of humor (and people who didn't but liked me anyway), people who loved deeply and others who hid their feelings, people who lived in farmhouses in the middle of nowhere and people who called a big city their home, single people, students my age who were already married and had kids, actors, scientists, drunkards and geeks, kids who still play Magic and watch Netflix all day. And you know what? I'm friends with all of them. And you wanna know another thing? That's okay. I can be friends with all of them.
I know everyone laughs at the cliched versions of high school portrayed in movies like High School Musical and Mean Girls, but to be honest, they're really accurate in one respect. If you tried to be different, step out of your skin and the label the rest of your classmates placed on you, you were an outcast. Not necessarily a social outcast, because I sure wasn't. I had lots of friends. And I loved most of them. Still do. But no one associated me with one group of people. Even the group of people everyone else associated me with didn't always include me. I wasn't invited to all of the parties, all the dinners, the gatherings they had. I was standing on the edge of a huge Venn diagram, where I could touch all the edges of the circles but never step inside them.
So I guess at the beginning of this year I was a bit lost. I knew college was a time to reinvent yourself, but who did I want to become? The theater kid? The writer? The friend? The adventurer? The smarty pants? The goody-two-shoes? The bad girl? I had so many options, yet none appealed to me in the way I'd hoped.
But then I began to meet people. People from various walks of life. And as the people become more and more diverse, I began to realize that I was looking for the exact same thing I had tried to escape in high school: a label. I was looking to others to define me when I should've been discovering my own definition. My friends allowed me to be my weird and crazy self, and they accepted me for it. As a result, it is much easier for me to be my weird and crazy self around people I don't know, which is probably why I still don't have a boyfriend. But I trust that I will find someone someday. If Liz Lemon can find her perfect man, then so can I.
Sorry I keep going back to all this "labels" shit. I bet you're thinking to yourself, "Jesus, Heidi! Build a bridge and get over this already. You've made like 4 blog posts about it. Haven't you figured yourself out yet?"
Believe me, I ask myself this question all the time. And the answer is a definitive one. No, I have not figured myself out. Not even close. One of the greatest ironies in this world is that the person we think we know best is actually the hardest to figure out. We should know ourselves better than anyone else; after all, I'm constantly in my own head. But no matter how hard I try, I cannot always determine why I do the things I do. It's eye-opening to understand how little you actually know about yourself, or that your perception of yourself mostly comes from how other people see you.
This is why you should take psychology classes ladies and gents.
All in all this year was fantastic. There were many ups and downs, probably more downs than I would've liked, but that's life. And with every passing day, I realize how much mine seems to resemble a late-night sitcom.
Not Two and Half Men, however. More like the Big Bang Theory. But with dorky girls and way more Doctor Who references.
Friday, April 26, 2013
It's Always a Good Time
Happiness update: leveled up Tuesday night, when I manned up and asked for something I wanted. It wasn't hard, the risk for me is basically zero, and still I was afraid to be assertive. I really have to stop that.
I was chatting with Sara the other day and we were talking about high school. She was the "band nerd" in high school, and she was telling me how weird it was to not be one in college. How she felt almost lost or naked without the label. When she asked me what I was, at first I couldn't give her a straight answer. I was never really "in" one specific group all four years; I was one of those weird kids who tried to balance sports and theater, but never felt completely tied to either one. I had friends in multiple circles, in multiple walks of life.
It had never bothered me before. Why was it bothering me now?
I guess that for all my bravado, for all my talk about knowing who I was and being secure with myself, I'm still confused. Still unsure of who I am. In high school, I eventually identified my myself as a "theater kid". But I still never felt like I truly belonged with those kids. I absolutely love theater and always will, but I was constantly comparing myself to others, measuring my worth and talent in comparison with theirs. With someone who's completely different than me. Who has different talents, a different personalty.
Looking back, I realize how stupid that was. And now, here I am doing it all over again. Thinking that just because we have an amazing theater program means I could never compare to these kids who are majoring in something I see as a hobby.
You know what? Fuck that. Fuck that way of thinking. Who says I can't take a chance and try out for a play or a musical? I do. I am my own worst enemy, my own roadblock, and my worst critic. I am stopping myself from doing something I love, and that is totally messed up.
But now I say fuck labels. I can be whatever the hell I want, be the person I want to be, because it will make me happy. I know I've said this before; I thought I was over all this and my insecurities my senior year of high school. But you know what? Things change in college. More things than I expected honestly. I'm still the same basic person I've always been, but I've grown so much in a year even I can't believe it sometimes.
I am me.
I just started laughing because that sounds like the world's worst name for a superhero or something. Like, if you were about to be killed by a villain and the door busts in there's this guy standing there and the villain asks, "Who are you?" in awe and the guy looks the villain dead in the eye and intones, "I am Me."
I think it's time to go outside.
I was chatting with Sara the other day and we were talking about high school. She was the "band nerd" in high school, and she was telling me how weird it was to not be one in college. How she felt almost lost or naked without the label. When she asked me what I was, at first I couldn't give her a straight answer. I was never really "in" one specific group all four years; I was one of those weird kids who tried to balance sports and theater, but never felt completely tied to either one. I had friends in multiple circles, in multiple walks of life.
It had never bothered me before. Why was it bothering me now?
I guess that for all my bravado, for all my talk about knowing who I was and being secure with myself, I'm still confused. Still unsure of who I am. In high school, I eventually identified my myself as a "theater kid". But I still never felt like I truly belonged with those kids. I absolutely love theater and always will, but I was constantly comparing myself to others, measuring my worth and talent in comparison with theirs. With someone who's completely different than me. Who has different talents, a different personalty.
Looking back, I realize how stupid that was. And now, here I am doing it all over again. Thinking that just because we have an amazing theater program means I could never compare to these kids who are majoring in something I see as a hobby.
You know what? Fuck that. Fuck that way of thinking. Who says I can't take a chance and try out for a play or a musical? I do. I am my own worst enemy, my own roadblock, and my worst critic. I am stopping myself from doing something I love, and that is totally messed up.
But now I say fuck labels. I can be whatever the hell I want, be the person I want to be, because it will make me happy. I know I've said this before; I thought I was over all this and my insecurities my senior year of high school. But you know what? Things change in college. More things than I expected honestly. I'm still the same basic person I've always been, but I've grown so much in a year even I can't believe it sometimes.
I am me.
I just started laughing because that sounds like the world's worst name for a superhero or something. Like, if you were about to be killed by a villain and the door busts in there's this guy standing there and the villain asks, "Who are you?" in awe and the guy looks the villain dead in the eye and intones, "I am Me."
I think it's time to go outside.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Thinking About Things I Shouldn't Be Thinking About
Call me Brittney Spears because oops I did it again. I'm thinking about life and the future, and absolutely freaking the hell out about it.
Last night I went to this PR mixer our PRSSA held at a local restaurant. It was like speed-internshipping; we went around to different tables and talked to PR representatives from different companies around Columbus about how they got their jobs, what kinds of internships they had in college, what they look for in an intern, etc. Basic stuff. They also asked us about ourselves and what we're thinking about pursuing. I was really enjoying myself, really telling these people about myself and where my passions lie, because I honestly have no idea what I want to do with my PR major. And I'm okay with that. But one woman said something to me last night that got to me more than I'd like to admit.
I was telling her about my love for music, books, movies, and the theater. My biggest problem is trying to mesh some of my hobbies together with my future job, and I understand that it may not work out that way. I really do. I'm not naive; I know my perfect job does not exist, or it may take a little longer for me to find out what I want to do. But I was telling her the hopes and dreams that are closest to my heart, the dreams I don't tell anyone else because I am afraid of what they will say, because I felt comfortable in this environment. The other professionals all told me that they had maybe never heard of a job like I was describing, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. They had all encouraged me to keep my mind open and to not give up my search for a job that will satisfy and stimulate my needs.
So I described myself to this woman and told her my problems, my deepest fears. She looked me in the eye and told me that I would never be able to find a job like the one I was describing, so I may as well give up now and forgot about finding a job that I enjoy.
I was a little stunned. I didn't know what to say. I understand that from her perspective, she thought she was being honest and saving me heartbreak and wasted time later on. She thought she was doing me a favor, telling me what I can and cannot do before I had a chance to figure it out for myself. While I appreciate her honesty, I also feel sorry for her. She doesn't know of every PR-like job in the world; the field is so broad there's probably thousands she's never even heard of. The fact that she has such a myopic view of the field, that she can't imagine different jobs besides the ones she has experienced personally, tells me that she's not the person I need to be listening to.
And yet, last night, laying in my bed, I couldn't get her words out of my mind. No matter how I tried, that horrible feeling that she could be right continued to haunt me. What if I never found the right job for me? What if I never amount to anything? What if I just fail at life and never accomplish anything?
Well I have a message for you way-too-heaavily-makeuped-lady. I will find an awesome job someday. It may not be the exact one I'm imagining now; it might even be something completely different, something I haven't even thought about yet. That's the great thing about PR. I probably will end up doing so many different jobs in my lifetime that there will never be a dull moment, and (hopefully) no instances where I feel stuck in a rut. There's so much more to the world, and I feel sorry that makeup lady doesn't see that. I see the world for all it's opportunities and possibilities, and my goal is to never lose my curiosity for discovering new things and places and adventures the world has to offer.
I feel that I am in the right place. I may not know exactly where I fit in to this world is yet, but they say half of life's the journey right? I am not lost, just on a rather foggy part of the path that becomes clearer with every passing day.
Last night I went to this PR mixer our PRSSA held at a local restaurant. It was like speed-internshipping; we went around to different tables and talked to PR representatives from different companies around Columbus about how they got their jobs, what kinds of internships they had in college, what they look for in an intern, etc. Basic stuff. They also asked us about ourselves and what we're thinking about pursuing. I was really enjoying myself, really telling these people about myself and where my passions lie, because I honestly have no idea what I want to do with my PR major. And I'm okay with that. But one woman said something to me last night that got to me more than I'd like to admit.
I was telling her about my love for music, books, movies, and the theater. My biggest problem is trying to mesh some of my hobbies together with my future job, and I understand that it may not work out that way. I really do. I'm not naive; I know my perfect job does not exist, or it may take a little longer for me to find out what I want to do. But I was telling her the hopes and dreams that are closest to my heart, the dreams I don't tell anyone else because I am afraid of what they will say, because I felt comfortable in this environment. The other professionals all told me that they had maybe never heard of a job like I was describing, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. They had all encouraged me to keep my mind open and to not give up my search for a job that will satisfy and stimulate my needs.
So I described myself to this woman and told her my problems, my deepest fears. She looked me in the eye and told me that I would never be able to find a job like the one I was describing, so I may as well give up now and forgot about finding a job that I enjoy.
I was a little stunned. I didn't know what to say. I understand that from her perspective, she thought she was being honest and saving me heartbreak and wasted time later on. She thought she was doing me a favor, telling me what I can and cannot do before I had a chance to figure it out for myself. While I appreciate her honesty, I also feel sorry for her. She doesn't know of every PR-like job in the world; the field is so broad there's probably thousands she's never even heard of. The fact that she has such a myopic view of the field, that she can't imagine different jobs besides the ones she has experienced personally, tells me that she's not the person I need to be listening to.
And yet, last night, laying in my bed, I couldn't get her words out of my mind. No matter how I tried, that horrible feeling that she could be right continued to haunt me. What if I never found the right job for me? What if I never amount to anything? What if I just fail at life and never accomplish anything?
Well I have a message for you way-too-heaavily-makeuped-lady. I will find an awesome job someday. It may not be the exact one I'm imagining now; it might even be something completely different, something I haven't even thought about yet. That's the great thing about PR. I probably will end up doing so many different jobs in my lifetime that there will never be a dull moment, and (hopefully) no instances where I feel stuck in a rut. There's so much more to the world, and I feel sorry that makeup lady doesn't see that. I see the world for all it's opportunities and possibilities, and my goal is to never lose my curiosity for discovering new things and places and adventures the world has to offer.
I feel that I am in the right place. I may not know exactly where I fit in to this world is yet, but they say half of life's the journey right? I am not lost, just on a rather foggy part of the path that becomes clearer with every passing day.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
A Little Disappointment Never Hurt Anyone...Right?
Today I got some rather disappointing news. All spring break I had been excited to start this acting class I had signed up for. Some of the older theater majors at school needed some actors for a directing class they are taking, so I decided to give it a shot. I memorized a monologue, auditioned in front of about 15 directors, and I got cast! I love the stage, but being me, I was really nervous to audition. I didn't exactly have the best time with directors in high school; I knew I could act, but I never got a lot of positive reinforcement from my directors. Everywhere I turned, someone was telling me I just wasn't good enough.
Finally, by my senior year, I decided that I didn't need their blessing to know I was good enough. So I pretended I didn't care. But the truth is, I was still acting. Of course I wanted them to care. Of course I wanted them to believe I was good. I never got that satisfaction, but I thought that maybe, because Krystal, a junior musical theater major, had chosen me to be in her scene, that I was good enough. And I would show myself and my directors back home that I can amount to something in acting. That I am good enough.
Then Krystal got a part in the international tour of Dream Girls last Monday (I mean wow. Just wow. That is so incredible I can't even. Wow.). It's such an amazing opportunity for her, and I am so happy she got the part. But I didn't realize that she would be on a leave of absence the rest of the year, and as the email informed me she would not be able to direct our scene (obviously).
At first I just shrugged it off. Eh, whatever. Shit happens right? But then I started thinking, and all these feelings from the last few years began to bubble to the surface. Things I haven't felt since I looked at the Fame cast list and found my name in the chorus. Then, embarrassingly, the tears came. Totally unheeded. Those tears welled up and I felt a deep, incredible sadness overwhelm me.
Because I want to act. I didn't realize until now, but it's honestly killing me. I have no acting outlet, less frequent opportunities to get myself out there than I did in high school. And I look at my best friend, who is friends with all the drama kids at her school, and they put on funny plays and she's the stage manager and they break into the theater at night to play scenes from a hat and why can't I have friends like that and have drama friends that don't just party and smoke weed I mean is that really too much to ask???
Sorry. I'm so frustrated because I thought this was my chance. If I believed in signs, I was sure this was one, telling me to go for it, follow this dream no matter how crazy it appeared because it's something I love. And you don't give up on something you love.
So dear readers, I'm not giving up on this. There's no way in hell I'm giving up. Because did I give up after four years? No. I'm still upset, and I might be for a few days. I was really looking forward to this. But I'm not going to throw in the towel after all this time. By casting me, Krystal told me she believed in me. It's time for me to start believing in me too.
Finally, by my senior year, I decided that I didn't need their blessing to know I was good enough. So I pretended I didn't care. But the truth is, I was still acting. Of course I wanted them to care. Of course I wanted them to believe I was good. I never got that satisfaction, but I thought that maybe, because Krystal, a junior musical theater major, had chosen me to be in her scene, that I was good enough. And I would show myself and my directors back home that I can amount to something in acting. That I am good enough.
Then Krystal got a part in the international tour of Dream Girls last Monday (I mean wow. Just wow. That is so incredible I can't even. Wow.). It's such an amazing opportunity for her, and I am so happy she got the part. But I didn't realize that she would be on a leave of absence the rest of the year, and as the email informed me she would not be able to direct our scene (obviously).
At first I just shrugged it off. Eh, whatever. Shit happens right? But then I started thinking, and all these feelings from the last few years began to bubble to the surface. Things I haven't felt since I looked at the Fame cast list and found my name in the chorus. Then, embarrassingly, the tears came. Totally unheeded. Those tears welled up and I felt a deep, incredible sadness overwhelm me.
Because I want to act. I didn't realize until now, but it's honestly killing me. I have no acting outlet, less frequent opportunities to get myself out there than I did in high school. And I look at my best friend, who is friends with all the drama kids at her school, and they put on funny plays and she's the stage manager and they break into the theater at night to play scenes from a hat and why can't I have friends like that and have drama friends that don't just party and smoke weed I mean is that really too much to ask???
Sorry. I'm so frustrated because I thought this was my chance. If I believed in signs, I was sure this was one, telling me to go for it, follow this dream no matter how crazy it appeared because it's something I love. And you don't give up on something you love.
So dear readers, I'm not giving up on this. There's no way in hell I'm giving up. Because did I give up after four years? No. I'm still upset, and I might be for a few days. I was really looking forward to this. But I'm not going to throw in the towel after all this time. By casting me, Krystal told me she believed in me. It's time for me to start believing in me too.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Birthday Weekend
Happy Birthday to me!
I turned 19 on Sunday. Last year of having "teen" in my age. God that's scary; next year I'll be twenty. Twenty. I don't feel that old.....I mean, I still laugh when people say "fart" for chrissakes!! But I definitely ain't a kid any more, and that frightening thought is making itself more and more prevalent in life as the days go by.
Enough of that depressing shit. The real reason I'm writing is to tell you all what a kick-ass weekend I had, and also to put it down in words so I'll always remember it.
On Friday my two friends from BG came to visit. When they got here we chatted for an hour or two and we gave them a tour of the campus. They met Ivanna and loved her, which was awesome. I'm glad my college friends and high school friends can get along. Then we went to Mimi's Cafe and had dinner while Sara was with her family. Then we came back and went to the game night at the library. The boys were quite pleasant; Charlie patiently reminded me how to play Texas Hold 'Em and made a good dealer. I ended up winning the whole pot in the end after losing the entire time. Vegas here I come!!
Only joking. I have terrible luck.
After that we girls decided to play a game of Apples to Apples, which was absolutely hilarious. Then they all surprised me with an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen (Rachel had accidentally ruined the surprise earlier, which was also a hilarious slip-up worthy of America's Funniest Home Videos, but I pretended to be surprised anyway). And let me tell you, that cake was absolutely delicious.
The next morning we all woke up and went to brunch. The Rachels got to experience our "gourmet" school food, and I sucked down some coffee to keep me awake for the remainder of the day. Everybody gave me gifts after that; The Rachels, Kate and Sara got me two shirts from Marshal's, a bag of caramel corn, and a poster. Rachel also brought my best friend's gift down with her, since she couldn't come celebrate with us. Mary Kate got me a grow-your-own-frog-prince and quotation mark earrings (which I fangirl squealed over). Her parents got me perfume from Victoria's Secret. My friends are seriously the greatest :)
It gets better. Saturday night, after the Rachels left, my college friends and I dressed classy and went to Olive Garden to have dinner. We had to wait a little bit to get a table, but it was soooooooo worth it. My God, those breadsticks. I'm still drooling. Then, because I'm actually turning five, we went to McDonald's and got shamrock shakes for dessert. If you've never had a shamrock shake, go to McDonald's and get one right now. Seriously. That shit is fucking delicious.
When we got back, I whooped Chris's ass at Just Dance. (Let me make this clear--I usually don't brag about my Just Dance skills. But Chris was talking smack and was convinced he could beat me every time. Final overall score: Me-6, Chris-1. Owned.)
On Sunday, my actual birthday, we were all so dead we didn't really do anything. However, Sara and I got coffee at Java Central to wake us up, and then we ended up taking a long-ass walk all the way to Africa!
Road, that is. There must have been something in that coffee.......
All in all, it has been one fantastic birthday weekend. I was kind of sad my family couldn't come down to celebrate, but I told them I didn't mind since I'd be home in five days for spring break. This way, I get to stretch my birthday celebration to two weekends instead of one. Yay for more food!
Anyway, time to get Sara into Whose Line. I love dragging people into my obsessions. I feel so evil......hehehehehe........
Two more days until spring break. I can do this. Allons-y!
I turned 19 on Sunday. Last year of having "teen" in my age. God that's scary; next year I'll be twenty. Twenty. I don't feel that old.....I mean, I still laugh when people say "fart" for chrissakes!! But I definitely ain't a kid any more, and that frightening thought is making itself more and more prevalent in life as the days go by.
Enough of that depressing shit. The real reason I'm writing is to tell you all what a kick-ass weekend I had, and also to put it down in words so I'll always remember it.
On Friday my two friends from BG came to visit. When they got here we chatted for an hour or two and we gave them a tour of the campus. They met Ivanna and loved her, which was awesome. I'm glad my college friends and high school friends can get along. Then we went to Mimi's Cafe and had dinner while Sara was with her family. Then we came back and went to the game night at the library. The boys were quite pleasant; Charlie patiently reminded me how to play Texas Hold 'Em and made a good dealer. I ended up winning the whole pot in the end after losing the entire time. Vegas here I come!!
Only joking. I have terrible luck.
After that we girls decided to play a game of Apples to Apples, which was absolutely hilarious. Then they all surprised me with an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen (Rachel had accidentally ruined the surprise earlier, which was also a hilarious slip-up worthy of America's Funniest Home Videos, but I pretended to be surprised anyway). And let me tell you, that cake was absolutely delicious.
The next morning we all woke up and went to brunch. The Rachels got to experience our "gourmet" school food, and I sucked down some coffee to keep me awake for the remainder of the day. Everybody gave me gifts after that; The Rachels, Kate and Sara got me two shirts from Marshal's, a bag of caramel corn, and a poster. Rachel also brought my best friend's gift down with her, since she couldn't come celebrate with us. Mary Kate got me a grow-your-own-frog-prince and quotation mark earrings (which I fangirl squealed over). Her parents got me perfume from Victoria's Secret. My friends are seriously the greatest :)
It gets better. Saturday night, after the Rachels left, my college friends and I dressed classy and went to Olive Garden to have dinner. We had to wait a little bit to get a table, but it was soooooooo worth it. My God, those breadsticks. I'm still drooling. Then, because I'm actually turning five, we went to McDonald's and got shamrock shakes for dessert. If you've never had a shamrock shake, go to McDonald's and get one right now. Seriously. That shit is fucking delicious.
When we got back, I whooped Chris's ass at Just Dance. (Let me make this clear--I usually don't brag about my Just Dance skills. But Chris was talking smack and was convinced he could beat me every time. Final overall score: Me-6, Chris-1. Owned.)
On Sunday, my actual birthday, we were all so dead we didn't really do anything. However, Sara and I got coffee at Java Central to wake us up, and then we ended up taking a long-ass walk all the way to Africa!
Road, that is. There must have been something in that coffee.......
All in all, it has been one fantastic birthday weekend. I was kind of sad my family couldn't come down to celebrate, but I told them I didn't mind since I'd be home in five days for spring break. This way, I get to stretch my birthday celebration to two weekends instead of one. Yay for more food!
Anyway, time to get Sara into Whose Line. I love dragging people into my obsessions. I feel so evil......hehehehehe........
Two more days until spring break. I can do this. Allons-y!
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Midterms Week
When I say "Midterms Week," I mean "let's not study for that test and watch episodes of Doctor Who, Downton Abbey and Whose Line is it Anyway? instead" week. I sure can put the pro in procrastination.
This past week has been the shit. And I mean the good kind of shit. Muse was AMAZING. Seriously, one of the best concerts I've ever seen in my life. It's gonna take a lot to top their performance. Not only are they amazing musicians, but their show is an absolute spectacle. The lights and set fit the songs perfectly; you could tell that a lot of thought was put into this show and that they tried to add as much to the music as possible. And boy, did it work. It also helped that they played all my favorite old songs. When I heard the first chords of "Knights of Cydonia," I melted into a puddle on the floor. I could also totally see Matt Bellamy's face the WHOLE TIME since I was sitting close enough to the stage, and I died pretty much every time he sang falsetto or began wailing on his guitar. Oh my god.
Anyway, since I'm already not studying, I have some exciting news. Are you sitting down? Do you have a paper bag in case of hyperventilation? Okay. So the day after I saw Muse, one of my favorite comedians, a hilarious Canuk by the name of Colin Mochrie, tweeted something that almost sent the world spinning off it's axis.
WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY IS COMING BACK. I REPEAT, ONE OF THE GEATEST SHOWS OF ALL TIME IS COMING BACK.
In case you weren't alive in the 90's or have no idea what I'm talking about, go on Youtube and look up an episode. I promise you won't be disappointed. It's probably one of the funniest shows I've ever seen, and the best part is it's completely made up. Four performers (the regulars are Colin, Wayne Brady, and Ryan Stiles) play silly games in which they are given suggestions by the audience and cards they've never seen before. They then must make up scenes based on those suggestions, all on the spot. These guys are brilliant; they are the best improvers out there. No show makes me laugh as hard as Whose Line.
Sadly, it was cancelled back in 2005 and reruns only ran until 2007. It's been off the air for almost 6 years, so that's why it's so exciting that they're going to resurrect it. It was such a memorable part of my childhood and my college years. Looking back, I find it amusing that I enjoyed it so much at a young age. Most of the jokes that were made were sexual, and I obviously didn't understand them when I was younger. Nevertheless, I specifically remember getting excited when a rerun came on late at night.
Now that I'm older, I've seen every single episode. And now that I get the jokes, I enjoy the show even more. I'm really excited for the resurrection and I hope it's as good as the original. It helps that Wayne, Ryan, and Colin have all agreed to come back for the show. I don't know what I'd do if the show didn't include one of the original guys. It would just feel wrong.
Anyway, pardon the fangirling that just occurred. People in real life would totally judge if I reacted this way, so instead I truly reveal the extent to which I freaked out over a TV show on the internet. The internet understands me.
Going to go "study" now. Keep it real, ladies and gents.
This past week has been the shit. And I mean the good kind of shit. Muse was AMAZING. Seriously, one of the best concerts I've ever seen in my life. It's gonna take a lot to top their performance. Not only are they amazing musicians, but their show is an absolute spectacle. The lights and set fit the songs perfectly; you could tell that a lot of thought was put into this show and that they tried to add as much to the music as possible. And boy, did it work. It also helped that they played all my favorite old songs. When I heard the first chords of "Knights of Cydonia," I melted into a puddle on the floor. I could also totally see Matt Bellamy's face the WHOLE TIME since I was sitting close enough to the stage, and I died pretty much every time he sang falsetto or began wailing on his guitar. Oh my god.
Anyway, since I'm already not studying, I have some exciting news. Are you sitting down? Do you have a paper bag in case of hyperventilation? Okay. So the day after I saw Muse, one of my favorite comedians, a hilarious Canuk by the name of Colin Mochrie, tweeted something that almost sent the world spinning off it's axis.
WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY IS COMING BACK. I REPEAT, ONE OF THE GEATEST SHOWS OF ALL TIME IS COMING BACK.
In case you weren't alive in the 90's or have no idea what I'm talking about, go on Youtube and look up an episode. I promise you won't be disappointed. It's probably one of the funniest shows I've ever seen, and the best part is it's completely made up. Four performers (the regulars are Colin, Wayne Brady, and Ryan Stiles) play silly games in which they are given suggestions by the audience and cards they've never seen before. They then must make up scenes based on those suggestions, all on the spot. These guys are brilliant; they are the best improvers out there. No show makes me laugh as hard as Whose Line.
Sadly, it was cancelled back in 2005 and reruns only ran until 2007. It's been off the air for almost 6 years, so that's why it's so exciting that they're going to resurrect it. It was such a memorable part of my childhood and my college years. Looking back, I find it amusing that I enjoyed it so much at a young age. Most of the jokes that were made were sexual, and I obviously didn't understand them when I was younger. Nevertheless, I specifically remember getting excited when a rerun came on late at night.
Now that I'm older, I've seen every single episode. And now that I get the jokes, I enjoy the show even more. I'm really excited for the resurrection and I hope it's as good as the original. It helps that Wayne, Ryan, and Colin have all agreed to come back for the show. I don't know what I'd do if the show didn't include one of the original guys. It would just feel wrong.
Anyway, pardon the fangirling that just occurred. People in real life would totally judge if I reacted this way, so instead I truly reveal the extent to which I freaked out over a TV show on the internet. The internet understands me.
Going to go "study" now. Keep it real, ladies and gents.
Monday, February 11, 2013
I Forgot to Put on Deodorant Today
Another Monday come and gone. Much better than the previous Monday I wrote about, thankfully. I've gotten back into the swing of things, and I feel so much better about myself and my life I can't even tell you.
Countdown time. T-minus 17 days until I see Muse live, and less than a month until my birthday!! I'm sosososo incredibly excited to see one of my favorite bands live. Mathew Bellamy is HOT. And boy, can he sing. I also have some really exciting stuff planned for my birthday with my college friends, and hopefully two of my best friends from high school will be able to come down too. I seriously cannot wait. March, get here faster!!
So I guess the Pope resigned today. I'm not Catholic, so I don't really know what that means for the church (if anything) other than they're gonna have to find a new guy to give speeches and tweet about God and the awesome services at the Vatican. I feel bad for the guy; most Popes are the Pope until they die, but this one apparently felt he couldn't properly perform the duties required of him due to his health problems. I respect him for having the courage to admit this, and I hope people don't give him too much flack for stepping down. I do have one question though: Was this an act of God or Satan?
Yeah. I'm hilarious.
According to the Dove chocolate wrapper I opened today, I am "exactly where I'm supposed to be." I sure hope that's true. I still restless, though the feeling has abated somewhat. Even though it scares me, I secretly want to be out in the world already. To have a job. My own place. There's no way in hell I'm ready for it, but I just like to pretend I am. As much as I love learning, I'm getting really tired of this school shit. And I still have three more years to go........
In relation to the title of this post, I did actually forget to put on deodorant today. I didn't notice until an hour ago, when I was having a dance party in my room. I swear my life is a sitcom.
Countdown time. T-minus 17 days until I see Muse live, and less than a month until my birthday!! I'm sosososo incredibly excited to see one of my favorite bands live. Mathew Bellamy is HOT. And boy, can he sing. I also have some really exciting stuff planned for my birthday with my college friends, and hopefully two of my best friends from high school will be able to come down too. I seriously cannot wait. March, get here faster!!
So I guess the Pope resigned today. I'm not Catholic, so I don't really know what that means for the church (if anything) other than they're gonna have to find a new guy to give speeches and tweet about God and the awesome services at the Vatican. I feel bad for the guy; most Popes are the Pope until they die, but this one apparently felt he couldn't properly perform the duties required of him due to his health problems. I respect him for having the courage to admit this, and I hope people don't give him too much flack for stepping down. I do have one question though: Was this an act of God or Satan?
Yeah. I'm hilarious.
According to the Dove chocolate wrapper I opened today, I am "exactly where I'm supposed to be." I sure hope that's true. I still restless, though the feeling has abated somewhat. Even though it scares me, I secretly want to be out in the world already. To have a job. My own place. There's no way in hell I'm ready for it, but I just like to pretend I am. As much as I love learning, I'm getting really tired of this school shit. And I still have three more years to go........
In relation to the title of this post, I did actually forget to put on deodorant today. I didn't notice until an hour ago, when I was having a dance party in my room. I swear my life is a sitcom.
Monday, January 28, 2013
Mondays Suck
First day of spring semester. A day that should be filled with new beginnings, new friends, and continue my journey through college with a bang.
Apparently the universe doesn't want me to have a good day.
Last night my friend told me that our guy friend is being a dick to her. Ever since he told her that he liked her but he was "over her," he's been acting strangely around her. I figured it was because he actually still likes her and is simply trying to guard his heart, but he's being incredibly rude. I understand that he might be hurt, but she made her decision and that's that. They were such good friends before, and I don't think they should let this ruin the relationship they had before, but it's really looking as if this might end badly. She tries to talk to him and ask what's wrong, but he either gives her a terse reply or ignores her. He needs to straight up tell her how he's feeling, because he's making her feel horrible about herself. I want to march up to him and shake him; I want to yell at him to get some balls and tell her what's really going on and how he's feeling. But I know I have to let these two figure it out for themselves. It's the only way they can possible salvage their relationship.
Then, right after having this talk, another friend comes to me, sobbing, and tells me her boyfriend just got into a car accident. The car was totaled, but he managed to walk out of the wreckage with only a bloody nose. I held it together while I comforted her, but this morning I lost it. I know her boyfriend very well and I couldn't imagine losing him. It scared the hell out of me. Thank God he's all right.
To top this all off, this morning I spilled milk on myself. I was rushing to class and didn't have time to wash my jeans, so I had to change outfits and clean up the mess so it wouldn't smell. Then, when I was halfway through the communications building, the heavens opened up and a monsoon occurred. By the time I walked into class, my jeans were three shades bluer than normal and my shoes squelched with every step.
And now, I'm not sure if I'm even in the right major.....can this day get any worse? It's only 10:30.
I'm frustrated, tired, scared and upset. I can't decide whether to cry or punch a wall. Maybe both. I really hope this day isn't indicative of the rest of this semester. Wish me luck.
Apparently the universe doesn't want me to have a good day.
Last night my friend told me that our guy friend is being a dick to her. Ever since he told her that he liked her but he was "over her," he's been acting strangely around her. I figured it was because he actually still likes her and is simply trying to guard his heart, but he's being incredibly rude. I understand that he might be hurt, but she made her decision and that's that. They were such good friends before, and I don't think they should let this ruin the relationship they had before, but it's really looking as if this might end badly. She tries to talk to him and ask what's wrong, but he either gives her a terse reply or ignores her. He needs to straight up tell her how he's feeling, because he's making her feel horrible about herself. I want to march up to him and shake him; I want to yell at him to get some balls and tell her what's really going on and how he's feeling. But I know I have to let these two figure it out for themselves. It's the only way they can possible salvage their relationship.
Then, right after having this talk, another friend comes to me, sobbing, and tells me her boyfriend just got into a car accident. The car was totaled, but he managed to walk out of the wreckage with only a bloody nose. I held it together while I comforted her, but this morning I lost it. I know her boyfriend very well and I couldn't imagine losing him. It scared the hell out of me. Thank God he's all right.
To top this all off, this morning I spilled milk on myself. I was rushing to class and didn't have time to wash my jeans, so I had to change outfits and clean up the mess so it wouldn't smell. Then, when I was halfway through the communications building, the heavens opened up and a monsoon occurred. By the time I walked into class, my jeans were three shades bluer than normal and my shoes squelched with every step.
And now, I'm not sure if I'm even in the right major.....can this day get any worse? It's only 10:30.
I'm frustrated, tired, scared and upset. I can't decide whether to cry or punch a wall. Maybe both. I really hope this day isn't indicative of the rest of this semester. Wish me luck.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
In Lieu of a New Years Post.....
I was planning on writing a "Happy New Year's" post to you faithful readers since I haven't posted in forever, but today my life took a turn for the interesting (for once) so I'll inform you of that instead.
I was sitting at my computer earlier today when I heard my mom scream in the kitchen. She was crying and yelling that she had cut the top of her thumb off, so I ran in to help her. She had her thumb in the sink so I couldn't see the blood, but I could tell she a. thankfully did not completely sever her thumb; b. was completely and totally flipping out; and c. needed to be driven to the ER.
She was crying so much she couldn't even tell me where it was (yes, I probably should know where the closest ER is. But the only time I've been was when I was 3, and I definitely wasn't driving then). After calmly but forcefully telling her to get in the car, I managed to get to the ER without incident while she blubbered directions to me.
When we got there we waited a few minutes for a nurse to come out and get her. She was still crying and obviously in a lot of pain. I felt weirdly calm, despite the giant knot that tightened in my stomach. I honestly don't know how i was able to be that calm; maybe it was my mom was freaking out so much I felt I needed to be the exact opposite.
The nurse finally came and brought us into a back room. The doctor told us she would need stitches, and that she should get a tetanus shot. I texted some of my mom's closest friends to tell them what was going on. Most of them responded immediately, asking if we were okay and if I needed their help in any way. I told them that my mom was hanging in there and that I was fine. If I had been honest I would've said that I wasn't sure how I felt.
The doctor stitched up her thumb, which I actually watched. I am NOT a needles person, nor do I like looking at bloody/gross injuries, so i surprised myself when I watched him sew up her skin like a hole in a shirt. It was a strange image to say the least, and I am now perfectly sound with my choice to not go into med school.
Anyway we got home and mom had calmed down by then. The doctor had numbed her thumb, so at the moment she was fine since she felt no pain. My dad and all my mom's friends commended me for being so calm, getting my mom to the ER and sitting with her while she was stitched up. To be honest I was pretty proud of myself too, but it felt like the natural reaction to me. Running the risk of sounding bitchy, I was actually annoyed when my mom freaked out. In a situation like that, it's important to think logically and rationally, and she wasn't doing that. Now obviously I've never Nearly-Headless Nick'ed my thumb, so I can't say I would necessarily act differently than her in that situation. Nevertheless, I'm glad she's okay and everything worked out.
Now I'm going to go watch Netflix with my best friend and nurse the headache this stressful day has given me. I told everyone I felt fine, but really I'm stretched a little thin emotionally right now. Time to drown my feelings in ice cream.
Au revior, mes amies. And a Happy 2013 to you all!
I was sitting at my computer earlier today when I heard my mom scream in the kitchen. She was crying and yelling that she had cut the top of her thumb off, so I ran in to help her. She had her thumb in the sink so I couldn't see the blood, but I could tell she a. thankfully did not completely sever her thumb; b. was completely and totally flipping out; and c. needed to be driven to the ER.
She was crying so much she couldn't even tell me where it was (yes, I probably should know where the closest ER is. But the only time I've been was when I was 3, and I definitely wasn't driving then). After calmly but forcefully telling her to get in the car, I managed to get to the ER without incident while she blubbered directions to me.
When we got there we waited a few minutes for a nurse to come out and get her. She was still crying and obviously in a lot of pain. I felt weirdly calm, despite the giant knot that tightened in my stomach. I honestly don't know how i was able to be that calm; maybe it was my mom was freaking out so much I felt I needed to be the exact opposite.
The nurse finally came and brought us into a back room. The doctor told us she would need stitches, and that she should get a tetanus shot. I texted some of my mom's closest friends to tell them what was going on. Most of them responded immediately, asking if we were okay and if I needed their help in any way. I told them that my mom was hanging in there and that I was fine. If I had been honest I would've said that I wasn't sure how I felt.
The doctor stitched up her thumb, which I actually watched. I am NOT a needles person, nor do I like looking at bloody/gross injuries, so i surprised myself when I watched him sew up her skin like a hole in a shirt. It was a strange image to say the least, and I am now perfectly sound with my choice to not go into med school.
Anyway we got home and mom had calmed down by then. The doctor had numbed her thumb, so at the moment she was fine since she felt no pain. My dad and all my mom's friends commended me for being so calm, getting my mom to the ER and sitting with her while she was stitched up. To be honest I was pretty proud of myself too, but it felt like the natural reaction to me. Running the risk of sounding bitchy, I was actually annoyed when my mom freaked out. In a situation like that, it's important to think logically and rationally, and she wasn't doing that. Now obviously I've never Nearly-Headless Nick'ed my thumb, so I can't say I would necessarily act differently than her in that situation. Nevertheless, I'm glad she's okay and everything worked out.
Now I'm going to go watch Netflix with my best friend and nurse the headache this stressful day has given me. I told everyone I felt fine, but really I'm stretched a little thin emotionally right now. Time to drown my feelings in ice cream.
Au revior, mes amies. And a Happy 2013 to you all!
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