So I just got back from my cousin's wedding and I feel like I missed so much. I was gone for three days and my friends had so much fun without me......I know it happens, but I still feel sad that I missed out.
Also, one of the guys I thought I kind of liked likes my friend's roommate. Which is fine. I can see why he likes her; she's incredibly pretty, she's witty, she's funny, she doesn't take shit from people. The only problem is, I know she doesn't like him back. She told us that he reminds her too much of her cousin and she'd never date him. But if she knew how he felt, would she change her mind? I don't know. I feel bad that he's being led on, but she's not doing it on purpose. And I don't think it's my place to tell either of them how the other feels. This is something they need to talk about.
But this got me thinking about me and my non-exisitant love life. I've been single for 18 years so you'd think it wouldn't bother me anymore. But it does. A lot.
At the beginning of school this year I had three guys going after me. One already had a girlfriend, the other has dropped me like a hot rock, and the other.....he's the guy above. SO what does this say about me? That guys like me just because of my looks? That they think I'm hot but once they get to know me they lose interest? I'm not that type of girl. I don't dress provocatively or act like I'm just out to get some. I'm looking for a long-term, lasting relationship with a guy that I like. I just want someone to love me like Sarah and Ross love each other. Like Danny and Patty love each other. I know I'm young, I know people are telling me not to rush things, I know there's someone out there for me, but I'm tired of waiting. And where are the duds? I know I'll probably have to date a few of those before I find "Mr. Right", but where the hell are they? I'm sick of this. I'm sick of watching other girls get what I want so badly
Sorry if I sound ungrateful or whiny. Maybe I just watch too many sappy movies. But I have and always will be a hopeless romantic, though I'm starting to believe that I'll never find the love I'm looking for. It's not that I have high expectations; a guy has truly never liked me before in that way. Never. I've had plenty of crushes myself, but never has the guy reciprocated the feeling. It's just a bit discouraging, ya know?
Anyway, got to go do someone homework. Thanks for listening to this depressing rant, nameless audience. Hopefully some fanfiction up soon.
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